Oops. Teeth.

From an artistic standpoint, I have very interesting teeth. Their shapes vary almost as much as the structures of a cave do. Some of them are jagged, others are rounded. They crowd and overlap each other in eye-catching, organic ways. I could base a drawing of a mountain range on their near-fractal construction. They also feel neat. The unique ridges they create are pleasant to touch or run my tongue over. For this, I like them.

However, like most works of art, my teeth may not necessarily be considered "beautiful." Not by all, anyway. They are too big for my mouth, really, so they bunch up at the front. My upper incisors are shoved together like two angry roommates, so they're tilted outwards. Should I ever be punched in the mouth, my assailant will likely cut his hand deeply on their sharp edges.

My teeth are also yellow. Sickly yellow. I've recently cottoned on to those Rembrandt whitening strips, and my teeth are responding by turning a slightly lighter shade of sickly yellow, but I think it will take a lengthy amount of treatment before I can dub them "pearly."

I'm thinking of saving up a bit and getting braces soon. It's difficult to imagine what my teeth will look like when they're lined up properly. I think about how I'll see a different person when I look in the mirror. I think I might even miss that lumpy topography my teeth once boasted. Without it, I just won't be Daniel anymore.

They say that being happy with who you are doesn't cost a thing. Well, I say that hoarding porno is a lot more expensive than having sex with a chick who digs your style, and braces are a one-time charge.

Braces it is. On to Daniel 2.0!